Never Say Never

This past week was a big week for us, Kensington started first grade! However, we are going against everything we’ve been taught and know. We started our homeschooling journey, something I said I would NEVER do! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve eaten that word, never? My mom always told me ‘never say never’ and you would think I would have learned, but I haven’t. I don’t think we ever do when we feel so sure about something. My mom and I laughed about it on the phone this week. She asked me what other things I said ‘never’ to and I thought I’d share...

1. I would NEVER play basketball again after being horrible at it in 7th grade. I lack hand-eye coordination, trust me ask my hubby, but I somehow managed to make the team two years in a row in high school 
2. I would NEVER move out of Nebraska. We have moved out of state twice, once to Maryland days after we were married and then to North Carolina. 
3. I would NEVER marry a guy named Mike or Michael because there were too many in our family. This is just laughable because we began dating in high school. 
4. I would NEVER homeschool annnnnnd here I am!

This whole process started about a year and a half ago and trust me I have been dragging my feet to get here. I most definitely did not want to do it, but Mike and I believe it’s a total God thing. He started preparing the way even though I tried to come up with a different solution over and over again. I have a teaching background and I know the social value of going to school. I know the independent growth that takes place. I know the standards. But as we got closer and closer to Kensington starting school I could literally feel it in my body that our public school system wasn’t the right fit for her. Based on some of her needs and her summer birthday we held her back for kindergarten and we loved the school we chose, but it was a preschool and didn’t offer first grade or higher. So we decided we would send her to our local charter school. It has a year round schedule and we liked their program. When the time came to enroll her the first grade class was full and our name was put into a lottery. At the end of spring we went to the lottery drawing to see where we fell on the waitlist and sure enough Kensi’s name was drawn dead last. Despite friends telling us she would surely get in at least by the first day of school that started in July we stayed hopeful but guess what, that school’s first day came and went and we never got a phone call about an available spot. Every single time I thought I could find a way around homeschooling, God shut the door and he shut it hard. With every door He closed on me, the more I felt uncomfortable and irritated. I was upset it wasn’t going as I had planned it. Why was this easy for everyone else except for us? Through the process I learned in order to grow we have to get out of our comfort zone and I was definitely moving out of my comfort zone. So we began to prepare for homeschooling and I became so overwhelmed and scared. I’ve gone through all the emotions and thoughts of am I going to mess her up? How am I going to teach her with the other kids at home? Will she be missing out? How is she going to make friends? What if I fail?

But God’s plan is ALWAYS so much better than our plan.

I didn’t realize the freedom that comes with homeschooling. I’ll be honest, when I said I would NEVER homeschool, all my thoughts lied with the homeschooling culture that was in Omaha during my time in college. It was nearly nonexistent and homeschooled children were viewed as odd balls. Omaha has several amazing school districts and options for parents and that’s what I was use to. Here, it’s not as broad, but we have an amazing homeschooling community! We have freedom in our schedule, freedom in our curriculum, freedom in teaching style, freedom in how she learns and freedom to choose what we expose to her. We even have a few families who homeschool on our street that we’ve become close with too.

I know we’ll have hard days. I know we will have days I’m going to lose my freakin’ mind and I’m going to want to throw the towel in and say forget it! But this past week, our first week, I have felt so much peace and I don’t doubt this is exactly what we’re meant to be doing. I have no doubt we were led to this exact place, with these exact neighbors, to our exact church with amazing mentors, to do this exact thing. I know I found my people and it looks so much different in every way I ever imagined it would be and it’s so good, because He is so GOOD.